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Posts Tagged ‘authenticity’

The important point of spiritual practice is not to try to escape your life, but to face it – exactly and completely.

~ Dainin Katagiri

I have spent so long in the search, that I decided a different approach was needed.  After all, it is futile to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.  Chasing, searching, questing… this has not worked.  In fact, I get the feeling that this has only clouded and masked and been a running away from the very thing I was searching for.

The one you are looking for is the one who is looking

~ Deepak Chopra

So I decided I would try something different – I would try stillness.  No more running.  Anyway, I am tired from the running, from the searching.  I felt I needed to learn to just BE.  To sit still long enough to hear what came forth from the silence.  Our truest selves, I believe, are always to be found in the stillness, in the quiet place deep within, that is only found when all else falls away.  Cast off the thoughts of should and could and didn’t and must.  Cast of the voices of your parents and your friends and the strangers you think are judging you – or should I say, cast off the voices you ascribe to them.  Cast off your conditioning and your childhood and society, move out of the haste and the scrabble.  Find a quiet moment, find a quiet place, find that empty space – and just sit.

And thus I find myself where I now am.  I work as a typist.  I feel like I have to somehow learn to be ok with that before I can move on.  I have just moved into a one bedroom house by the sea.  It is my sanctuary.  It is my place to just BE.  Sometimes that is frustrating and lonely.  Somehow I feel that is part of the process.  There is silence there.  Always in the silence, the self can be found. 

So many of us are disconnected – from ourselves, from our bodies, from our Earth.  So many of us live lives of “quiet desperation”, feeling faint unease or dissatisfaction, without really being able to pinpoint why.  I believe it is because we have lost touch with who we really are, with the voice that whispers quietly from inside us in a language we’ve forgotten how to understand, drowned out by the cacophony of voices, the busy rush, the magnitude of concrete that fills this modern world around us, this modern version of life.

So many people have said to me – as I have engaged in different ways in the quest to find my true path, my authentic life – that your job does not define you, your job is not who you are.  Your job funds your life, your job is not your life.

To be honest, I don’t think I agree.  At least, not for me.  I don’t think I can live that way.  How sad, I think, to spend such a majority of your week, your time, your precious life, being someone else, being disconnected from who you truly are and what you came here for, from your truth and your joy.

I want what I do with my life to be a definition of me.  I want the way I spend my time to be an expression of myself and who I am and what I believe in.  I want to live authentically in every single action, in every moment, in every breath.  Not just after work, not just on the weekend, not just when I’ve fulfilled other duties.  I believe the duties in our lives are the ones we have chosen to have there – I want to chose those which reflect my highest truth, which say something about who I fundamentally am, which are an expression of my very self.

When we meet someone new, one of the first questions we ask is: “What do you do?”  I think this is actually fair enough, because what you “do” for a living is actually what you spend a huge majority of your time and energy on.  The question really is: “How are you using your life?”

I want to be able to answer that question with words that resonate with the deepest truth I have about who I am and what I am here for.  I don’t want to utter the answer with the lingering impulse to add imploringly “but I am not just that, I am something else, I am so much more!”  I want the answer to sum it up, to be me in a nutshell, to say something about who I am and what I stand for.

In reading something the other day, I came across three words that have haunted me ever since:

Live Your Truth.

 

So the point of the silence is to let my truth be heard, to become so familiar with the tone of its voice that I will always know what resonates with it.  And then to live it. 

Because at the end of the day, it is the living that counts.

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

~ Henry David Thoreau

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

~ Henry David Thoreau

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